Resting and Waking Well: an Essential Luxury (pt. 1)

Have you ever envied the luxurious lifestyle of another? Maybe you’ve felt allured by the extravagance and exclusivity of their ways, but also held contempt against them because it simply was not your reality. I used to think of being well-rested as a luxury. A luxury that looked great on others, something that would be “nice to have,” but ultimately too costly for a “non-essential.”

I am a natural night owl. I am someone who stays up late with the hopes of doing something fun or productive, just for the net result of my time being wasted... again. Staying up late requires nearly zero intentional effort or planning in the moment, but it does take its toll on me the next day. I snooze my alarm unceasingly until the mounting anxiety of beginning another day compels me to get out of bed. I’ve never been proud of this habit, but sustainably resting and rising well requires a level of effort that I have been unwilling to put in. Until, that is, I accidentally started waking up early… sometimes even before the sun.

How does this happen by accident, you might ask? My answer is exhaustion. Complete exhaustion. If you’re wondering why I haven’t written in a while, it is because I have spent this last year pregnant with our third child. As it turns out, loving two little people under the age of three while growing a third little person takes a lot of energy. And so does maintaining a home and other family rhythms while being in school and starting a coaching practice.

During my pregnancy, I napped with my children in the afternoon and then usually fell asleep while putting them to bed around 8 PM. I have not gone to bed that early since I was a child myself… and like a child, there was real resistance against my new bedtime routine. Almost all of my personal time disappeared in the blink of an eye, and it did not feel fair. I desired time with my husband, time for us to finish buttoning up the home for the day, time to work on the latest creative project, and time to relax and enjoy entertainment.

But resisting my fatigue was futile. I was so exhausted that going to bed early felt involuntary. Resistance only led to irritability, which quickly led to the conviction that it was better for everyone (not just myself) that I submit to my need for rest. This submission required me to trust that my value is not placed in my productivity. It required trusting that there would be time for everything I desired another day… but today was simply not that day.

These notions are easy enough to write, but something altogether different to live. I have a tendency to define my self-worth on what I am able to accomplish and often rely on my own strength to achieve it. This vulnerability requires that I put my trust in Christ alone, to believe that I am enough and have done enough at the end of the day. I also have to trust that God created me to partake in His good work, yes, but also to enjoy Him through rest. If any of you have ever had a similar experience with submission, you know how challenging that can be. But I hope that you experienced a hidden blessing in it because, guess what? I was pleasantly surprised by God's unexpected gift of encountering a glimpse of heaven here on earth.

I found myself naturally awake, feeling very well-rested, at an early hour. My husband and I began to take advantage of this special time for the gift that it was. I would slip on my fluffy floral robe and slippers before quietly turning on our little electric fireplace to dispel the slight chill in the air of our cozy cottage. He would make us coffees, and we would sit down at our dining room table, dressed with a simple tablecloth and candles. We’d light them and enjoy the warmth of their ember light as the sun rose and cast its radiance through the sheer curtains. We engaged in meaningful conversations, or sometimes just enjoyed one another’s company in silence as we listened to the birds sing outside.

We commented on the new blooms in our garden and also noticed how quickly the weeds shot up. All of this made us think about how our children were growing like weeds and positively blooming with potential. We talked about the funny things they said or did yesterday and gave ourselves space to acknowledge the thorny moments as well. Most importantly, we made meaningful discoveries through praying and reading scripture together. This time helped guide our hearts and plans for the day, week, and years ahead. This opportunity to be present with one another, fully in the moment, and spiritually prepared for the day was the most valuable luxury, a priceless gift of unity.

For the first time in my life, I experienced the extravagance that all of the “morning people” talk about. The value of these quiet morning hours far surpassed the fatigued reality of what I experienced in the late hours of the night, accompanied by their frenzied mornings. It was as though my time multiplied. I no longer resented my exhaustion at the end of the day because I knew that although not lived out perfectly, I engaged in what the Lord had for me. I also began to cherish my submission to rest because I could fall asleep peacefully, yearning to partake in the sun rising on the potential of the next day.

So, what now that our youngest is two months old? Inevitably, some of our routines have changed and I am still tired at the end of the day… but no longer utterly spent. I am presented with a decision to make: fall back into old habits, or commit to humbly pursue this luxury for my own?

I have the newfound conviction that resting and rising well is an essential luxury, worthy of my pursuit. I acknowledge that obtaining it for myself will require me to budget my resources towards my priorities. Now that I’ve explored the “why” of my desired lifestyle change, I need to get serious about the “how” I will graciously earn this luxury for myself… Do you have any advice?